This year God has pushed me all the way out of my comfort zone to trust Him FULLY. Like not with just the small stuff, not just once in a while but like every second of the day and with BIG STUFF, like my rent. Most of you may be like “How are you not trusting Him to get your rent?” Well I’m a freelancer and up until the end of last year I had a part-time job that fully covered my rent. When my hours were cut significantly, my trust and faith were tested. I’m not going to lie I was panicking, I was doing everything I thought I should to figure out “What to do?”
January rolls around and I’m semi panicking at the fact that I don’t have money to cover my rent, let alone any of my other bills. I kept hearing God tell me “I need you to trust Me for your rent and not this job.” I was hesitant at first, “But where is the money coming from Jesus?” So mid January I decided to hand it all to Him, not be a back seat driver, not still have my hand on it, none of that. Looking back initially I handed it over to Him as a test, I can admit it. But since then I have had such peace. I’ve been able to silence the “What ifs?” from myself and others. Fully trusting that everyday I’m covered financially.
How did I do this? It sounds crazy to say but I just LET GO and QUIT WORRYING. It was hard, I’m a planner and a worrier, well at least I was. To LET GO and LET GOD, I had to remove my invisible grip I had on all the things I was worried about. I said in the past that God had my career, which He did but I never gave Him my finances. I thought they went hand in hand but they don’t. Isaiah 26:3 says “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” QUIT WORRYING, was the hardest. The worry meant I still had a hand and eye on it to snatch it back if God “fell through” or “messed up.” I had to fully trust the promises of god over my life, He pushed me to do it but I needed that push. I had to fully trust that God has my best interest at heart, I had to fully trust that God is GOD. Philippians 4:6 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” God wants me to win but He also wants to get the glory.
Now, this has not been an easy 2 months. There have been some times where I don’t have money, I’ve had to borrow money, but it’s paid back. So in that time I had another talk with God “The rent is getting covered but I do have some other bills that aren’t being paid God, can we get on those too?” I continue not to worry and my fair grows stronger with each day. He was covered all my bills and then some. He has shown me that He is God once again.
The journey with God isn’t an easy one because we have to give control to Him and trust in His timing. God’s timing is much better than our own, His ways are higher than our ways and so are His thoughts. I have a tattoo that says “Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.” I got it a few years back and I think I’m finally starting to live it out. I’m silencing my fears and worry and replacing it with His promises and His Glory. So I continue to follow Him so it’s no mistaking who got me to where I am.
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint
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Photographer: Denton Taylor
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