This year has been a rollercoaster, to say the least. But the best rollercoaster by far. This year I became and full-time entrepreneur and trusted God with my finances. It wasn’t an easy road because as you can imagine God doesn’t lay out a plan and tell you where your money will be coming from or when. But I can attest that his timing and provision are perfect.
This year I was able to take a girls getaway for my birthday, travel to a friend’s wedding, travel for work, pays assistants, work on some amazing projects and strengthen wor relationships. The highlights of the year had to be the Clairol commercial, working on Allure 100 years of beauty and snagging an amazing client.
I apologize for the absence, the quick and short of it, I’ve been unmotivated, blank. I’ve just not felt like writing and didn’t know what to write about. I said it before in my Staying Authentic post, I only write what’s on my heart. Nothing’s been on my heart, nothing has motivated me to write a post about it. So with this post, I’m making my return but I’m also forcing myself out of my unmotivation.
I never want to force information or come off disingenuine. My main reason for writing is to motivate and inspire, whether it’s through my fashion or something I’ve been through. I’m currently working on creating some content that keeps me motivated and also inspires. It will be hard but the plan is to open up more about my life on my blog and on my Instagram, more sharing and less caring if I look and sound perfect. This is a short post but I want to hear from you. As I work on new content I want to know “What do you want to know?” more fashion tips, dating ups and downs, celibacy, Christianity? Drop a comment and let me know.
Thank you for allowing my father to see another year around the sun. Thank you for choosing him to be my earthly father. Thank you for his ability to be hard yet fair, stubborn yet gentle and always wanting the best for his children. Thank you for his ability to never pass judgement and always speak the truth, even if we don’t want to hear it lol. Thank you for giving him so many children to love and steward. He may seem tough on the outside but his heart is as big as the sun.
This year I pray uninterrupted happiness for him. I pray for healing in relationships that have been broken. I pray over his health that he may stay strong and healthy and go to the doctor when necessary, so I don’t have to go back to LA and make a scene lol, didn’t I say he’s a bit stubborn? I pray that every fishing trip he goes on he is blessed with lots of fish and new memories.
I pray that You let him know that I’m ok here in NY, even when he can’t see me. I pray that he knows just how much I love and miss him. I pray that he’s proud of me and knows how far I’ve come from the little girl in these pictures. I pray that our relationship and bond gets stronger.
God, thank You for my father, my dad, my daddy. Thank You for making him a man who can teach me how to cook and change oil. Thank You he’s never had me do the latter lol. I thank You that when I see him I see home. May this be his best year yet!!
I recently posted this picture on Instagram about dealing with insecurities and silencing the voices that give life to them. These are often what the negative voices in my head sound like:
“Your forehead is TOO BIG”
“Your nose is TOO BIG”
“One eye opens wider than the other, THAT’S NOT CUTE.”
“The dark circles under your eyes NEED to be covered up”
“You’re not PRETTY ENOUGH, let alone beautiful.”
Unfortunately, these are only things on my face. I don’t think this post is long enough for me to go through everything head to toe. Though these voices come way more often than I’d like them to, there are also times I think “I’m gorgeous!” This statement rarely ever comes, but is often not followed by one of the above insecurity statements. Lately, I’ve only felt “gorgeous” or “pretty” with make-up on. I had a period of breakouts, followed by hyperpigmentation that I “had” to cover up. My face was no longer the face I felt comfortable with last summer when I stopped wearing foundation. It was one now that created extra insecurities based on something I was desperately trying to control and reverse, that I couldn’t. Last night was the first time in the last 2 months that I went somewhere besides the bodega or laundromat without a full face of makeup on. I actually felt beautiful with just brows and mascara, not even a bit of highlight.